Who is responsible!
Every day in every school across America… Somehow somewhere –Trouble Is Brewing.
I know what you are thinking “There is no way that one eight year old kid can give several perfectly sane, highly educated, extremely caring adults a huge anxiety attack almost every single day.”
It is happening right now, under your very nose. It’s your job to handle this, and everyone involved wants you to fix it… The problem is you get a different story from everybody involved, and every story heaps the blame onto someone else.
Impossible situation… Well maybe, maybe not.
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Little Johnny acts up & at first your teacher is calm, collected, caring, and empathetic. She corrects Little Johnny’s behavior. The teacher does everything right… She delivers the perfect textbook response for the situation, so little Johnny should fall right into line and be a good little boy from now on… Umm, OK Sure.
There is just one problem –Little Johnny just can’t remember to be good all the time. So after a few months & many infractions his teacher slowly but surely looses her empathy, and soon finds herself getting very angry at little Johnny whenever he acts up.
Some of little Johnny’s friends notice how he can now make the teacher completely loose her cool, and they think it’s hilarious. Teacher now turns to a system of swift punishment for any bad behavior. Some of the kids straighten right up, but little Johnny and two other boys just wont bend.
A couple kids overhear our teacher telling another teacher that she thinks that little Johnny is pure evil and she doesn’t know what to do with him. All the kids in the school are talking about it. Word gets back to little Johnny’s mother, and she is not happy at all!
You see… Little Johnny’s Mom has been meeting with our teacher regularly, and has confided in her… She told her about how her husband left a few years ago, & how she has been struggling to make a living and take care of her little boy. She told her about his bad behavior at home, & how hard she is working to get him to behave.
Little Johnny’s mom used to trust our teacher… Now that is all out the window now.
Now little Johnny tells his mom that the teacher hates him and that she isn’t fair. He feels that the teacher doesn’t treat him like all the other kids. He tells his mother how mean the teacher is.
Little Johnny’s mom is in your office, and she is hurt and really pissed. Now this whole situation that you knew nothing about until today is your problem to solve. Mom is blaming the teacher… the teacher is blaming little Johnny and his mother… Little Johnny is blaming everyone but himself.
And now Mom is calling the district office complaining about the situation and telling your boss that you don’t even know what’s going on in your own school, and you now find yourself getting defensive and you start blaming the teacher for mishandling the situation and not informing you about the problem.
Essentially it’s a big mess & it really sucks!
The worst part of this story is, its not the kids fault, it’s not the moms fault, and it’s not even the teachers fault. I know what you are thinking… How in the heck is it my fault, I didn’t even know about it until it was too late.
I know… it doesn’t seem right, but the truth is –You Are In Charge! And You Are Responsible!
There is a silver lining. I am going to share a statement with you that if you take it to hart, hopefully it will change your life as it has mine. Here it is (drum roll……………….) “Responsibility = Control”
Your ability to take responsibility will determine how much control you have over your life, your family, and your school.
As an administrator, you are responsible to have a clear concise system in place that creates an environment that enhances your teacher’s ability to teach, and your student’s ability to learn.
The bottom line is… you must have a system in place to manage student behavior. If you don’t have a system, your school will be forced to use the kids system… and we both know how that ends.
If you can’t clearly describe to me what your system is, and exactly how it works then you are in trouble and you don’t even know it yet.
Don’t wait! If you think you might have a problem, just send me an email. I would like to help.
Aaron Beckstead
Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”
characteralways.wordpress.com
