Secrets … You’re teachers will never admit.

I have recently conducted some confidential interviews and surveys with teachers and principals… And to my surprise, I noticed a definite disconnect.

The teachers I talked to were more likely to talk confidentially about behavior problems in their classroom. I had a principal go on and on about how his teachers deal with behavior problems successfully. But then I got a completely different story from his teachers.

Now how could that happen… -Well it happens in every poorly run organization in the world.

I have found a missing component in every poorly run organization that I have ever studied. There is good news… it’s a simple fix, but not an easy one.

Honesty!

It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you are from. For the most part, very few people are willing to tell the truth if it might threaten their job or public image.

So let me ask you… Are you’re teachers completely honest with you? Do they feel safe enough to admit that they have a problem and need you’re help. Are they confident that you will help them overcome difficulties and teach them how to handle it in the future.(Without any fear and any judgment)

Let me give you some advice!

Watch all you’re teachers intently and try to identify any of them that may be having difficulties handling their kids. Use you’re gut, and when you find a suspect, – have a private conversation… This is what you can say: (let’s say her name is Jane)

Jane, do you know what the most difficult part of my job is? I have to do a balancing act! I feel like I am expected to be strong, confident, and extremely competent. But at the same time I also realize that I need to be open, honest, and helpful.

Sometimes I am not very good at being open and helpful. So I know it’s hard to come to me if you are having a problem in you’re classroom. And if that’s true for you… Then I want to change that now. So please help me understand any problems that you are having and how I can help.

You really should have a conversation like this with every one of you’re teachers, if you have the guts.

There is one thing that can ruin this whole process… if you let you’re ego get in the way. You will get some complaints that you don’t like, and you will be tempted to defend or attack. Don’t Do It!

Just write it down and take some time and think about it for a while. Be completely honest with yourself about it, and admit it if you have made any mistakes.

What I am really trying to help you do is create an environment where it’s safe to be truthful and it’s OK to make mistakes, then learn from them and move onto create a system that helps to eliminate the same mistake in the future.

Remember what I always say: If you don’t have a system in place to handle and eliminate behavior problems, then you are at the mercy of someone else’s system. This is always good for them and never good for you.

If you feel like you need help in any way, then please let me know.

Thanks Again!

Aaron Beckstead
Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”
character.always@gmail.com

Principal Joe… Social Misfit, Introvert, Total Nerd, and The Best?

How one principal over came social anxiety, paralyzing stage fright, and extreme introverted tendencies. How can he overcome all that, and go on to become the most effective leaders I have ever seen?

Well it was not easy… Joe had to overcome allot of his demons to do it. In the beginning he was easily pushed around by his teachers, parents, and even some of the kids. (he desperately avoided confrontation)

Joe felt a tremendous amount of fear, and was totally uncomfortable in just about every situation that his position called for. You see Joe thought that a leader had to be Outgoing and Dynamic, and Smooth. So he was trying to be all those things… But was failing miserably!

He told me that he was such a poor actor, that the only thing that he succeeded at, was making everyone around him just as uncomfortable as he was.

Soon Joe was considering a different career… He just could not keep it up anymore. Plus he suspected that he was going to get fired anyway. (Parents and teachers alike were going over his head, with complaints to the district)

I know what you are thinking… How in the heck did he turn this around? He decided to start over!

He did it by following a couple simple steps. (I think you and I can learn a few things from this)

Step One: -Stop pretending, Be honest, & embrace who you really are! He created what he called his Brutally Honest Talent / Weakness Report: Joe mapped out every aspect of his job, and honestly judged his ability.

Even though he was weak in most areas, he decided to focus on the one area that he was extremely strong at. It turns out that Joe is a genius problem solver. And I am not talking about quick fix type problem solver… Joe could always figure out a way to come up with a permanent long term solution.

So Joe put a new sign on his door “Chief Problem Solver”, he spent two weeks meeting one on one with all his staff and teachers. He was honest with them… he explained his predicament with them all, he showed them all his talent / weakness report and asked them if they would be willing to help him with his weak areas.

Then he explained how he would be focusing most of his attention on his new role of “Problem Solver”, he asked them to take some time and write down all the problems that they could think of and submit the list to him. It turns out that most of the teachers had the same or very similar problems, so Joe compiled a list and vigorously went to work on them.

At first it was a little confusing, but soon problems were being solved and changes were being made. Joe moved swiftly and confidently in his new role. Staff members and teachers quickly picked up the slack to help Joe overcome his weak parts. It turns out that many of them always really liked Joe, and wanted to help him, but didnt know quite what to do.

So do you have the courage to do what Joe did. I will admit, Its not easy to to trust people and ask for help. I have found that it either takes someone with allot of guts, or someone desperate to make things better.

This is just step one, I will cover step two next week.

Please let me know if you have any comments or questions about this article?

Aaron Beckstead

Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”

character.always@gmail.com

characteralways.wordpress.com

Who Do You Believe In, And Who Believes In You?

How many of your teachers are on your side… Why would they be, and even if some are on your side. –Do you honestly deserve it?

The real question is… Do you inspire loyalty?

If you are not sure, honestly… you probably don’t.

Let’s think about this a little bit. You probably have at least 50 to 75 teachers, a couple dozen office staff, custodian etc. All of which have there own ideas, beliefs, strategies, and behaviors.

Your job is to bring them all together, and work as a team to achieve a multitude of common goals. The logistics of getting all these people on the same page is daunting. There are hundreds of instances every day that can cause turmoil and strife.

The first common mistake that principals often make is to treat their group of teachers… like a group of teachers. What I mean is… If you are trying to deal with and control your teaches as a group –well you might as well try to control the weather.

What I am trying to say without saying it is… True influence is only achieved through real personal connections. Your teachers will only invest in you, as much as you invest in them.

There are some magic pills, and if you are willing to take them… You will find your self light years ahead of all of your counterparts. But they are not always easy pills to swallow, so consider your self warned.

This article is the first of a series… and in this first message I want to talk about the first step that will put you on the road to wise leadership.

*Warning  – this is not for everyone! This series can only benefit you if you are willing to commit to brutal honesty, and some real self examination.

So if you are up to it… let’s take our medicine!

Pill #1: Ego Examination

First let me state that I am a huge proponent of strong decisive leadership, but there is a time for everything. What I mean is, authority can only take you so far and if you are not careful the natives will slowly turn on you.

So if using your authority is your only move, then you are in some trouble. Soon you will be caught in a vicious cycle of giving orders and dispensing punishment. Inevitably your whole organization will adopt this method and your great little school will hemorrhage fear, intimidation, and retribution.

Sadly… on average a majority of people that are presented with a difficult situation will slowly revert to this punishing method.

It is disappointing to see this happen time after time, it seems to be hiding just under the surface in just about every school that we have worked with.

Without a system in place that insures a conditioned environment of positive discipline, then unfortunately human nature takes over and frustration leads to anger which leads to punishment.

Don’t let yourself be pulled into this cycle. If you are unsure how to avoid this problem, or if you are currently frustrated… then make sure you contact me, I would like to help you.

Aaron Beckstead

Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”

Character.always@gmail.com

characteralways.wordpress.com

Who is responsible!

Every day in every school across America… Somehow somewhere –Trouble Is Brewing.

I know what you are thinking “There is no way that one eight year old kid can give several perfectly sane, highly educated, extremely caring adults a huge anxiety attack almost every single day.”

It is happening right now, under your very nose. It’s your job to handle this, and everyone involved wants you to fix it… The problem is you get a different story from everybody involved, and every story heaps the blame onto someone else.

Impossible situation… Well maybe, maybe not.

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Little Johnny acts up & at first your teacher is calm, collected, caring, and empathetic. She corrects Little Johnny’s behavior. The teacher does everything right… She delivers the perfect textbook response for the situation, so little Johnny should fall right into line and be a good little boy from now on… Umm, OK Sure.

There is just one problem –Little Johnny just can’t remember to be good all the time. So after a few months & many infractions his teacher slowly but surely looses her empathy, and soon finds herself getting very angry at little Johnny whenever he acts up.

Some of little Johnny’s friends notice how he can now make the teacher completely loose her cool, and they think it’s hilarious. Teacher now turns to a system of swift punishment for any bad behavior. Some of the kids straighten right up, but little Johnny and two other boys just wont bend.

A couple kids overhear our teacher telling another teacher that she thinks that little Johnny is pure evil and she doesn’t know what to do with him. All the kids in the school are talking about it. Word gets back to little Johnny’s mother, and she is not happy at all!

You see… Little Johnny’s Mom has been meeting with our teacher regularly, and has confided in her… She told her about how her husband left a few years ago, & how she has been struggling to make a living and take care of her little boy. She told her about his bad behavior at home, & how hard she is working to get him to behave.

Little Johnny’s mom used to trust our teacher… Now that is all out the window now.

Now little Johnny tells his mom that the teacher hates him and that she isn’t fair. He feels that the teacher doesn’t treat him like all the other kids. He tells his mother how mean the teacher is.

Little Johnny’s mom is in your office, and she is hurt and really pissed. Now this whole situation that you knew nothing about until today is your problem to solve. Mom is blaming the teacher… the teacher is blaming little Johnny and his mother… Little Johnny is blaming everyone but himself.

And now Mom is calling the district office complaining about the situation and telling your boss that you don’t even know what’s going on in your own school, and you now find yourself getting defensive and you start blaming the teacher for mishandling the situation and not informing you about the problem.

Essentially it’s a big mess & it really sucks!

The worst part of this story is, its not the kids fault, it’s not the moms fault, and it’s not even the teachers fault. I know what you are thinking… How in the heck is it my fault, I didn’t even know about it until it was too late.

I know… it doesn’t seem right, but the truth is –You Are In Charge! And You Are Responsible!

There is a silver lining. I am going to share a statement with you that if you take it to hart, hopefully it will change your life as it has mine. Here it is (drum roll……………….) “Responsibility = Control”

Your ability to take responsibility will determine how much control you have over your life, your family, and your school.

As an administrator, you are responsible to have a clear concise system in place that creates an environment that enhances your teacher’s ability to teach, and your student’s ability to learn.

The bottom line is… you must have a system in place to manage student behavior. If you don’t have a system, your school will be forced to use the kids system… and we both know how that ends.

If you can’t clearly describe to me what your system is, and exactly how it works then you are in trouble and you don’t even know it yet.

Don’t wait! If you think you might have a problem, just send me an email. I would like to help.

Aaron Beckstead

Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”

Character.always@gmail.com

characteralways.wordpress.com

Children First Academy of Tempe… -Thanks for helping us provide a positive discipline plan for our school.

I decided to have my students in grade K -2 earn puzzle pieces.  9 puzzle pieces completes a puzzle.

When the whole class demonstrates good character in PE, they will earn a puzzle piece.  I will select one student to color the piece(in the color of the character they demonstrated) and put it in their classroom.

Each teacher has a poster board that says “Show your character always.” with the outline of the puzzle.  Once the student has colored the puzzle piece, they will tape it to the poster board.

When the class has completed their puzzle, they will earn a treat from the PE teacher!

I start my classes next Monday.  So we’ll see how  the students respond to my ideas.

Thanks for helping us provide a positive discipline plan for our school.
Sandy Burkhardt

PE Teacher Children First Academy of Tempe

Aaron Beckstead

Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”

Character.always@gmail.com

characteralways.wordpress.com

The Disgruntled Student…

I had a student who threatened me, because I gave him an F.

Another teacher caught this student writing “Kill Teacher” in his weekly planner in the section labeled Weekly Goals and Objectives.

The entire faculty was completely freaking out. They didn’t know what to do about it.

They kept asking me if I felt threatened, and I said… Why? This kid hasn’t met any goals in his objectives planner all year… So why worry.

I have one student that has achieved every goal in his planner. Now if he wants to kill me… then call the cops, & tell them to bring everybody.

I heard a comedian tell this joke a few years ago… & I am telling you this joke for a reason. In a strange way it makes me think about… Who is always getting the attention, and why?

I would love to show you an easy way to focus your attention on those who are behaving in a positive way. Too often attention and time is given to students who behave negatively.

By recognizing students, and consistently reinforcing their good behavior, we are noticing a significant change in others behaviors as well.

Only a very small percentage of students behave negatively, yet they are consistently receiving a disproportionately high amount of the teacher’s time.

When the shift is to positive reinforcement there is an appropriate amount of the teacher’s time given to all the students.

The philosophy behind our approach: It is their behavior!
When students are accountable for their behavior they begin to show ownership. They are proud when they are recognized for everything they do well.

This happens by catching the students behaving appropriately.
Soon human nature takes over… We all love to be recognized for excellence. Students are no different.

I would like to find out what you are currently doing to insure that your students exhibit positive behavior.

Aaron Beckstead

Character Always- “The Missing Piece in Positive Discipline and Character Education”

Character.always@gmail.com

characteralways.wordpress.com